


Let's Commit the Perfect Crime (I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine)

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Byun Baekhyun is a Little Shit, M/M, Minor Kim Joonmyun | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, One Shot, Pick-Up Lines, Short One Shot, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11351337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Baekhyun has a strange addiction with pick-up lines but Jongdae thinks it's endearing.





	Let's Commit the Perfect Crime (I'll steal your heart and you'll steal mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt on exopromptmeme. Prompter: I hope you like this! I added some things here and there but hopefully you're satisfied.
> 
> This is short and written quickly.

 

  


Jongdae is going to kill him.

He’s already planning various ways of giving him a long painful death.

If that little shit throws at him one more paper ball, he’s going to scream. Let’s call him Idiot, for the lack of courtesy.

Spending his Friday afternoon for detention in a room with a random idiot isn't how Jongdae planned the start of his weekend, but if anyone should be blamed it should be Chanyeol, who ran away during their prank and got Jongdae in this whole predicament.

Another crunched up paper ball is thrown at him again, but before Jongdae can leap and claw Idiot’s eyes out the latter declares to the teacher his need for a bathroom break and leaves the room.

Great, now he’s alone under the unwavering stare of the strict female teacher supervising them. He’s starting to feel a little creeped out and opens one of the paper balls for an excuse to break eye contact.

 

_hey, my name’s baekhyun_

 

Wonders of wonders, Idiot has a name. What will he discover next? He opens another paper.

 

_You must be a keyboard, because you’re my type._

 

Jongdae’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

 

_No, really. Ur cute._

 

He scrambles to gather the rest of the paper balls that have managed to fall on the floor to read.

 

_Y r u ignoring me :(_

 

Oh, so this Baekhyun guy has been trying to communicate with him. Jongdae is starting to feel kind of guilty now.

The next messages force him to muffle his surprised laugh in order not to attract the attention of the teacher again.

 

_You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry._

 

_Babe, you give new meaning to the definition of 'edible'._

 

_Do you have a name or can I call you mine?_

 

Jongdae hastily opens the last paper.

 

_R u free after school ;)_

 

When Baekhyun comes back into the classroom he finds a paper ball waiting for him right in the middle of his table.

 

_I’m Jongdae, but being yours sounds good too._

_I’m free._

 

+

Jongdae was proofreading his essay when his phone screen lights up. It’s a text from Baekhyun and he quickly opens the messaging app.

 

**From: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:10pm**

hey, r u busy?

 

He went out with Baekhyun on a whim, but when they’re still together two months later, Jongdae calls this a success.

 

**To: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:10pm**

finishing up a paper rn that’s due next week

Y?

 

**From: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:11pm**

It’s valentine's day today

 

**To: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:12pm**

So it is

never pegged u as a romantic

Will there be red roses and chocolates waiting for me at my doorstep if I go out?

 

**From: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:13pm**

Very funny

meet me at the cafe two blocks from ur house in about a hour?

 

**To: (bae)khyunnie~  at 14:14pm**

Ok

 

When Jongdae gets there Baekhyun is at a table waiting for him. He sits opposite his boyfriend and is immediately handed a single red rose and a small package of chocolates. There’s a card stuck to the rose.

“Are you a camera? Because everytime I look at you, I smile.” Baekhyun says, giving him exaggerated winks and kissy faces.

Jongdae laughs and pecks Baekhyun’s puckered lips. “Why did I have a feeling you were going to do something like this?” He opens the card and reads out loud, “Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot, and so are you.” There’s a big pink heart drawn at the end. He glances up at Baekhyun, eyes crinkled as he smiles widely. “Ok, this is kind of sweet.”

They order a strawberry shortcake to share and just as they’re about to finish it Baekhyun grips Jongdae’s arm and hisses, “Is that Professor Kim?!”

“What, as in Junmyun? Oh, it is!”

“ _Professor_ ," Baekhyun insists.

“He’s my cousin, you twat!” Jongdae retorts. “Hey, is that Principle Wu with him?”

The couple stares at the two men taking a seat at a table in the corner before Jongdae whispers, “Do you think they’re on a date together? A date for _Valentine_?”

Baekhyun gets up and pulls Jongdae with him towards the other table and says loudly, “Good afternoon, Professor!”

Kim Junmyun turns to look at them with wide eyes and hurriedly tells Yi Fan, “Got to go, my kids are here.” He all but runs to take shelter in the bathroom. Yifan stares dumbfounded after him then turns to look at Baekhyun and Jongdae awkwardly.

Snickering, they pay and leave the café. Jongdae tugs at Baekhyun’s hand as they're crossing the road. “Do you want to come back to my place? Watch some movies and pig out in front of the T.V?”

“Sure,” Baekhyun agrees. “I always knew you were a closeted romantic.”


End file.
